


Happy tree friendfiction

by hiptothejavabean



Category: Happy Tree Friends
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiptothejavabean/pseuds/hiptothejavabean
Summary: I can't help it im diseased
Relationships: Handy/Petunia (Happy Tree Friends)
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Darkness encroached on all sides.  
Handy and petunia sat in the center of it, petunias otherwise dark house illuminated by the television, playing a...movie. Handy watched with bemused interest, occasionally making a comment that petunia chuckled at. He had leaned over onto her shoulder at some point during the evening, and though she would be concerned about the grime from work, well, it wasnt her top priority.  
She grinned when the six headed shark cgi appeared onscreen again, model the same as ever. It looked like baby heads attached to a pinwheel.  
Bad movies were something they both loved, and having someone to watch them with and snark about was a mid-movie dream come true.  
Her fingertips drummed across his back. While she would normally be concerned about germs she could give to him from her diner, that wasnt her top priority.  
Shifting, she proceeded to realize that, while sitting with handy was her top priority, it was quickly being outdone by the fact that it was verging on eleven pm and there had been no dinner. Just the two of them coming home from work, crabby and on edge, and just relaxing together.  
It was great, but...  
"Should i get some popcorn?" She asked, breaking a nice period of silence. When she received no answer, she glanced over and watched handy, eyes half-lidded and blinking sleep, adjust himself so he was supporting his own head instead of just resting it on petunia.  
"Sounds great," he mumbled, shifting to get on his prosthetics.  
Petunia got up and padded toward her kitchen's general direction, finally flicking on a light.  
She was not much of a cook (she was much better at actually managing her diner), but she could do this. She'd done it a bunch. Pulling out her popcorn popper (which she'd gotten in order to, well, not have to do the work), petunia poured as much corn as she thought was necessary and switched it on.  
She heard handy clear his throat from the main room.  
"Patsy?" He called tentatively. She stepped into the doorway between the kitchen and living room, leaning against the foundation.  
"Yeeees, my dear?" She said it sickeningly sweetly--sometimes that was the only way to get handy to say what he wanted to say, and it was near and dear to her heart that she could make him comfortable like that.  
Handy stretched, and bought his arms back down to pick at his teeth, avoiding looking at petunia. "Remember just before we got together, uhm, your stove kept breaking? And your fridge, and your shower, yknow."  
"Mm hm." Oh God. He was onto her.  
"You do that on purpose?" He tipped his head, smiling at little drowsily.  
Petunia's eyes popped wide open. She shrugged, chuckling a little. "Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you werent fixing them right on purpose!" She planted her hands on her hips, and handy rolled his eyes.  
"'s'really porn tropey of you," A couple screams from the tv distracted them both for a moment, and handy chuckled. "I never wouldve expected it."  
Suddenly, the popping from the kitchen increased in ferocity. Petunia whirled around, only to be swept away in a scorching wave of popcorn. Rapidly, handy backed against the wall and tried to find an escape, but there was no use--he too was devoured by the sea of popcorn.  
He attempted to swim through it, but there was nowhere for the kernels to go, the house filled from top to bottom. He heard petunia scream from somewhere behind his head, and reached out a hand, which was quickly enveloped by a paw.  
Fuck. Well, at least they'd be off work tomorrow on death leave.


	2. Lads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys will be boys

Toothy woke up.  
He was used to waking up. Horizontally. On his bed. After sleeping. Maybe dying. But always horizontally and in bed and ALONE.  
But tonight, this lovely, what, midnight o'clock, he was vertical. And floating above the floor of cuddles' bedroom. And definitely not alone.  
He sighed and looked down. A pentagon of candles and strings lay underneath him, and a few feet away was a giddy, whooping cuddles.  
After yesterday's death (which he shuddered to remember, somewhat involving becoming a mr potato head and having his eye inserted into his arm hole and vice versa by cub), toothy had really wanted the sweet sweet nap of death before waking up in the morning, preferably horizontal and in bed.  
"HEY BRO!" Cuddles beamed, having settled down from his gleeful reverie. Toothy did a cursory glance around the room to make sure it was cuddles', almost in disbelief, and it certainly was. The band posters and guitars and skateboards hanging on the walls would never lie. "Howre ya?" Cuddles bought both paws to his chin.  
Toothy blinked, trying to think. He didnt wanna be rude, he was too much of a doormat for that. So he waved. "Hey."  
"Hi!" Cuddles waved, rocking back and forth on his knees.  
They sat in silence for a bit, the candle wax dribbling down onto the carpet. Only the candlelight illuminated them, and toothy would say this was romantic. If, well, you know.  
Finally, toothy rubbed his forehead and spoke. "So. What do you wanna do?"  
Cuddles paused, as though he didnt think he'd get this far. "I dunno, didnt think id get this far." He rubbed at his fuzzy little chin.  
"Far at what?" Toothy tried, but he probably sounded stupid. His mind was still hazy from the post-death daze. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and then lots of things. Every morning after dying was hard, so why wouldnt it be the same now?  
"At bringing you back! Missed you! A lot." Cuddles clasped his paws together.  
"So much you couldnt wait?"  
This also seemed to not have occured to cuddles, and now he seemed embarrassed. "Forgot. Forgot youd be back," he admitted. "But now youre a ghost for a little bit!"  
Toothy screamed, probably waking up cuddles entire family in the process. "A G-G-G-GHOST???"  
"Made a deal with the devil so you'd be here!"  
"CAN I TALK TO HIM????"  
Cuddles gestured to a shadowy figure in the corner of the room, tapping away at its cell phone. "Nah, satan doesnt...like being bothered. You only got like, a half hour."  
"THATS SO COOL!!" Toothy tapped his heels together, all weariness forgotten in the joy of facing the literal devil.  
Cuddles grinned, a little proud. "Ah, it's nothing." He held out a paw. "Wanna play mario kart?"  
Toothy got an extra 20 minutes of ghost time because satan got super into the game.


	3. Autism man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you don't think nuttys autistic you're dumb also im projecting but i kinda genuinely like this

Lots of people avoided nutty.  
Nutty hated it. He didnt like it at all.  
He had sniffles, who would listen to him talk about a specific video game or another for hours and actually respond, because he liked them just as much. But he wasnt a big fan of noise at all. So nutty was quieter, and sniffles didnt touch him unless nutty initiated a hug or something, and they were good.  
And...that was it. That was all nutty had. He was more than happy lifewise, but...  
He'd be sitting on a ledge, swinging his legs and shoving laffy taffys in his mouth, humming to himself, and other tree friends would pass him with a squint and a sort of grumble. They thought he didn't notice, just because he didnt talk about it. Because he mostly liked making noise.  
And he LOVE LOVE LOVED candy. Especially hard candy! The feeling on his teeth was amazing!  
But that was weird, and he was weird about it. And he did it anyway, and he didnt feel bad, and it was nice.  
Yet it got him ostracized, and, on a technical level, he didn't like that. He could play super mario galaxy two for days on end fueled only by skittles, but it'd be cooler if someone was there. To play with him. Or talk to him. Or be there.  
Bleh.  
Nutty made that sound out loud, laying on his kitchen floor, and shook his nintendo ds hard enough that chunks of his own fur fell out from under the buttons.  
He cranked his neck around uncomfortably to reach the straw dangling out of his koolaid, non-lazy eye still directed onto the screen. With his left thumb, he flicked up the volume in a smooth, easy motion, and just started hammering at the buttons.  
He lost the puyo battle pretty much instantly, but the buttons felt nice. Quickly, he was humming to the music, half chewing at a chunk of gum in the back of his mouth and half at his lip, starting and restarting and just mashing.  
His meal half-made and utterly rejected on the counter was buzzed out, as well as his lack of friends. It wasnt gone, but it was calmer.  
Eventually, the bouncing he hadnt even really noticed slowed down, and he was just humming one flat note.  
It didnt really matter. If people wouldnt like nutty when he would clap all the time or rub his hands together like a madman or hum and honk and laugh, then he wouldnt like them, like normal. And people who liked him would like him, and they'd be there, probably. Thats what he told himself, and he kept bouncing and humming, spinning puyos around and around.


	4. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yea im interrupting this to bring you a chatfic chapter i made cos i was like. there ar e none. and got mad. and im never gonna continue it because i dont like chatfics and i dont know how they work. and im a legal adult and im making a chatfic of a shock cartoon. i made this in the wee hours of the night and havent revised it except to clear up some word jumbles. ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh chatfic names cos i hate when i see a chatfic that doesnt have these (even tho i tried to keep them clear)  
> g-g-g-giggles: GIGGLES  
> f-f-f-flaky: flaky ok i already feel stupid  
> sk8erboi: cuddles xoxoxo  
> b1kerboi: toothy...  
> umjammer: lammy hehe  
> nutty4nutty: nutty. you knew this. you know this. please. for the love of god  
> handsandwich: handy. he is delicious  
> flipbert: flippy...i think, when people give the characters human names, that should be his name instead of fucking filip or whatever  
> pottedplantunia: petunia...  
> shitty: shifty..  
> litty: lifty...  
> molelovingmole: MOLE DUH  
> mimeamia: do i really need to. say. its mime  
> discophobic: disco. bear.  
> littleguy: little man sniffle.  
> youwouldntpirateacar: russell  
> liek i said. i tried kepein it obvious. im just. dumb

g-g-g-giggles: hiiiiiii!!!!💗💖👉👈  
f-f-f-flaky: Cuddles  
sk8erboi: girls who say hiiiii vs girls who s  
sk8erboi: yes  
f-f-f-flaky: If you're going to say girls wh  
f-f-f-flaky: Kills you.  
g-g-g-giggles: die bitch  
g-g-g-giggles: hiiii everybodyyyyy!!!!!!!! We're all liek!!!! Inter-friends.............💖💖💖🔫 so i figured we could get groupchatty and all be palz!!!! Cuz we all need more friends!!!!!!!!  
f-f-f-flaky: And probably, if we,,,,had communication we could live longer n stufffff  
b1kerboi: GUN EMOJI  
umjammer: just use the emoji king 😔  
b1kerboi: ;;;;A;;;;  
b1kerboi: thres no song called b1kerboi giggles there's no  
g-g-g-giggles: who are you  
b1kerboi: toothy  
g-g-g-giggles: who's toothy  
b1kerboi: ...  
b1kerboi: i dont know...  
nutty4nutty: O  
g-g-g-giggles: hi nutty!!!!!  
nutty4nutty: A  
g-g-g-giggles: cool beans!!!  
handsandwich: what is a toothy but a miserable little pile of secrets  
nutty4nutty: C  
nutty4nutty: ASTLEVANIA  
handsandwich: wtf is c astlevania  
flipbert: Game of hit monsters :) Hope this helps!  
pottedplantunia: Guys, I'm filing paperwork right now and I love you guys but can you stop for a second pls? I love you guys I just need some peace <3  
handsandwich: yes shut up every1. Fuck  
shitty: no  
litty: no  
shitty: no  
litty: no  
shitty: no  
litty: no  
shitty: whats the paperwork about  
sk8erboi: just turn your phone over queen  
litty: what numbers are you entering into it  
shitty: how many 0s does it have  
litty: do you fart  
shitty: do you fart  
litty: do you fart  
shitty: do you fart  
b1kerboi: At my core, I like to think I'm a nice person. But I can be stupid, and a bit of a doormat, and go along with things if I like you. It's something I need to work on. I like when I can go outside and gather bunches of flowers, but I also like biking and hard rock music. I can sing well. I'm a beaver whose passions lie everywhere, and I suppose I like it that way.  
litty: do you fart  
litty: holy shit dude  
handsandwich: I'm a beaver  
b1kerboi: shut the fuck off!!!!!!!!  
molelovingmole: I am 30 to 40 years old and I do not need this. Siri after that say xoxoxoxoxoxoxo but keep going. Keep going for about twenty lines of text just so petunia keeps getting the notification for the next twenty minutes. Thank you Siri. Goodbye.  
mimeamia: 😱  
litty: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱  
g-g-g-giggles: MIME!!! HI MIME  
mimeamia: 👋  
flipbert: Mime >_>  
mimeamia: 😇  
flipbert: My apologies. That was me saying your name in a cruel and evil way, I hope it's clearer now!  
mimeamia: 😨  
g-g-g-giggles: lumpy pop n splendid probly wont be on cuz they have jobzz....  
shitty: jobzz used vry loosely xoxoxo  
f-f-f-flaky: No being mean in the chat like literally that's one of the rules...  
g-g-g-giggles: flakes ;-; there r no rules this isnt discord  
f-f-f-flaky: Does that mean being mean is legal????  
g-g-g-giggles: Yeas.  
g-g-g-giggles: n cubz a baby. Does he have a cellphone even lol  
discophobic: He does  
litty: omg our favorite jobzz used vry loosely adult hi shithoe beaaar  
discophobic: he's really good at clash of clans and he sends me videos of giant flocks of ravens  
discophobic: i made 6000 dollars in a elvis impersonation contest id like to see you do that  
litty: ur wearing a wig  
pottedplantunia: i second that  
nutty4nutty: Bald  
flipbert: Savage!  
shitty: dad can u not say that it makes me uncomfortable  
nutty4nutty: can i say it >:3  
litty: no  
flipbert: Savage...  
sk8erboi: murder is awesome  
f-f-f-flaky: Disco hair...  
b1kerboi: i do not think murder is awesome  
b1kerboi: i think murder is bad  
umjammer: murder can be bad :(  
shitty: mrder is a fat win  
litty: i cant stop killing  
littleguy: Death is hard!!! But I think it can be really interesting to look at the brain of the murderer!!!  
litty: everyone listen to him hes right  
g-g-g-giggles: snifflessssss!!!!  
sk8erboi: you are right guys murder is cool thanks for the support  
youwouldntpirateacar: Ahoy, mateys! Good morning to ye! I just looked directly into the sun!  
littleguy: its 3pm :(  
youwouldntpirateacar: I just looked directly into the sun!  
pottedplantunia: noooooo ;___;  
handsandwich: you still doing paperwork?  
pottedplantunia: 😇 possibley  
litty: where are the zeroes


End file.
